Tuesday, November 27, 2007
didn't go to sch todae. dun think i can stand the pain from 9-5 so stayed at home. and then, went to the clinic once again to see the doc for mc. lol. and it was a different doc this time round. looks more kind, i would say. lol. he gave me painkillers and told me panadol wont help coz the pain is more than what panadol would be able to treat. hmm. quite thoughtful. LOL. and he gave me 4 days mc coz he said just in case i still dun wan to go sch tomolo. lol.
and the painkiller is so tiny compared to the ones i have to pump into my body everyday. but, i still didn't eat, dun wan to add on to my body's pill intake. wait til i cant take it den i'll take the painkiller ba. and it's veri filling having to pump 10 pills everyday into my body. wonder how those cancer patients take it, having to eat soooo many pills per day. that's why muz take care of health. dun feel like eating the pills anymore. but if dun eat, wont recover. -.-
pscm report submission coming! =S hope we can really pull it off.
and i found my thumb drive le!! lol. i think i'm like super lucky coz my sec sch fren happened to sit in my seat den she picked it up by chance. talk about luck.
梁静茹07国语专辑（崇拜）
梁静茹 - 每天第一件事
你送的灯 像在床头放了星星
让我每一个梦 都闪耀着暖意
在捷运里 一通贴心的简讯
赶走了 我的蓝色星期一
你翻杂志 费心挑选的餐厅
不管它好不好吃 我都笑得满意
我打了一年 还没送你的毛衣
你介不介意 我改打围巾
每天张开眼睛第一件事就是想你
空气有草莓的香气
每天幻想柳橙色的为俩盖在草地
让我们发明最美的约定
你的周围 太多事要你烦心
就算我帮不了忙 至少让你放心
我努力克服 容易害羞的毛病
敢和你 抢着先说我爱你
每天张开眼睛第一件事就是想你
空气有草莓的香气
每天幻想柳橙色的为俩盖在草地
让我们发明最美的约定
每天分手回家第一件事就是复习
快乐和感动几比几
每天都是因为你而看见风和日丽
你为我发明最美的天气
好像新鲜果汁 纯粹的透明
你在我马克杯上 画上了一颗心
你是我今天 醒来第一个原因
这一次 先听我说我爱你
这一次 先听我说我爱你
*sweet song.
you're the reason ;
5:43 PM
Saturday, November 24, 2007
wanted to blog last night but blogger ate up my post. but just as well, coz i was feeling horrible last night after i discovered that i left my thumbdrive in the ecm lab! how stupid can i get, i kept asking myself. hai. and might hav to redo pscm. i pray and hope that whoever picks up my thumbdrive would be kind enough to return it to SB office or the technicians there. *cross fingers* thanks weixin for helping me to go sch check todae! =) but i think mon i'll go check myself ba, no need to ma fan you also.
ytd's psycho lesson's game was interesting. lol. and funny as usual. and during the last game, our back had a piece of paper sticked to it and we had to go around writing something nice about everyone. lol. and u can choose to not to disclose ur name. i wrote on everyone's paper and everyone did the same to me. lol. and i'm going to frame it up coz it contains all good points about me. LOL. see le will hav high self esteem. wan to noe what they wrote? lol. but i wont tell coz it's like i'm praising myself like that. lol. but the piece of paper was really interesting.
having so many lessons of psycho, i think it helped me changed my perception a lot so though it's really tiring having to attend lessons til so late at night, but i dun regret my choice coz to me, it's not only an additional dip, it is a place and lesson where i can be open with myself and think and learn about things that i normally would not notice. and it helps me understand myself better as well. also, it helps me open myself to others' perspective-something i really could not do in the past. it also helped me explain why ppl behave in the way they are.
ytd, we were talking about our expectations of others. and reflecting back, i realised that i'm always expecting ppl to do certain things for me and when they dun, i get all disappointed and sad, coz to me, whenever there's something wrong, i'll always be willing to do everything to help him/her. so, in return, i would expect them to do things for me whenever i need them as well. and i realised that it would be better if i actually let go of my expectations of others coz they're not obliged to fulfill my expectations, i think.
it's so much like how i expected u would change, that u would always understand me, be my listening ear, be my really good friend, but, it's time perhaps to cut off my expectations of you.
therefore, i've decided, i'm going to try and slowly stop expecting others to do things for me. i cant be greedy.
sometimes, things are really beyond my control and it's not that i dun wan to do so, but i just cant. dun say til like i'm not cherishing things. i am. but the kind of stress is... so compelling. hai. blame it on me not facing to the truth ba.
on a happier note, went to cut my hair todae le, like finally. lol.
you're the reason ;
7:00 PM
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
i think next time i do project i'll never choose india as a market to promote and sell my products. so hard to find those shops la. till now, i still cant find one. lol. nvm, tomolo can continue.
had 5 hrs of break todae and did pscm, finished almost half of it and we aim to finish by this week. lol. coz next week hav to hand up le so even if dun wan finish by this week also die die muz finish. lol. and i'm super duper glad i didn't choose scm as my second yr option. think i'll faint from counting all those unit load devices, distri strategies and the lead times. no wonder, scm ppl earn big bucks but not a veri popular option. coz it's so confusing and hard. lol.
hmm. this week has passed generally at quite a fast pace. it's already into wed le and 2 weeks later my parents will be in japan. lol. sian.
off to bed liao le. tomolo's lesson starting at 8 instead of 8.30. it's a hectic week. and next week when all the deadlines start to kick in, i can foresee a monster week. =S
you're the reason ;
12:31 AM
Saturday, November 17, 2007
ahh. it's saturday today and i cant enjoy it at home coz hav to go for class bbq later if not like veri anti-social from the class. lol. and it just reflects every bit of the working world we will enter into in future, isn't it? hav to go for those social gathering even when one doesn't feel like it. up to a certain extent, i feel that one loses himself/herself when they go out to work in future. pathetic.
we've counted and i've found out that i've got like tons of projects on hand.
let's count:
1. psycho group report due on __.
2. pscm report due on week10
3. hrm report due on week 12
4. ecm report part 2 due on __.
5. conb report due on __
6. blaw report coming in future.
and i think that projects not only test us on our knowledge, it also involves a test of emotions and EQ. doing a project and trying to churn out a report is veri stressful but it's important to keep ur cool as well. if not, ppl might not want to work wif you in future le. and it does not mean a "i have a short temper so no choice" gives u the excuse to vent ur temper on group mates. coz it's not the group mates' fault right, if u wan vent, it's better to vent it on the lecturers who gave us the report to do, isn't it? i didn't wan to talk abt this but i wan to be truthful to u coz u're someone that matters to me and u're my fren. and i seriously hate one who vents their temper on me when it's not my fault. i'm ok with any other things but i will lose my temper if one vents their temper on me. once, my mum was in a bad mood and she was like scolding everyone in the house, including me. i tried to bear wif it but in the end, i just shouted out that she has no right to vent her temper on us just coz she's in a bad mood. and she was stumped. lol. so, pls dun ever vent ur temper on me. i simply hate it.
and weixin, it might be imp. to try and hide ur emotions in some situations but it's also imp that u dun hide ur emotions all the time and pretend to be happy ma. if like that, den ur life is black and white le leh, instead of colourful. and u're not useless ok, everyone has their own good and bad, including you. so, dun be lost anymore and if got anything, i'm just a phone away. and i promise i'll be a good listener and that i wont tell u any cold jokes when u're telling me ur problems de. lol.
it's quite late le, got to go get ready for the bbq. siannnnnnnnn.
you're the reason ;
5:19 PM
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
hmm. anything interesting that happened todae? oh ya. shared my the other half of my jacket wif liming, who being stupid stupid, didn't bring her jacket. so each of us took one side of my jacket and shared it during FM. lol. and we were laughing at the mike's vol non-stop la. and liming was being bad har. lol. and u should let andrew listen to dora's voice ma, den he wont dare to call again. LOL. =X.den went for psycho meeting, had fair share of laughter and fan nao-ing coz had to think of games. went home at around 7, i think. and the mrt was super duper squeezed. why everyone like to take same train as me? LOL. =X came up with some stupid games le but still need to discuss tomolo coz scared the games cant be played. lol. sian~ but after this game planning, no more le. and i hav trust in my grp members. lol. so can be done de, i muz hang on to it.todae's the day where i saw peiyin n melvin writing little cards to each other coz it's their anni and i sort of envy that they still can be so loving despite so long le. lol. it really takes effort ba, i guess. and it reminded me that todae's the 14th le. lol.HAPPY 7 MONTHS.been through not a lot but quite a lot. lol.hurt, cried, laughed, smiled thru these 7 mths.but there has never been any regrets and there never will be.<3
you're the reason ;
12:15 AM
Saturday, November 10, 2007
it's been a loooooooonnnnnnnngggggggg day todae. lol. certainly looks long. =X. went to bishan park after meeting and preparation of stuff. and passed by my dearest MF. lol. it's werid how ppl think. in the past, i used to hate going to sch there and having to see the building but now i sorta missed it. lol. the canteen, the staircases, the extremely colourful tables and chairs there. lol.
and i was having stupid migraine for like the whole afternoon la. wanted to take a panadol but decided against that coz i too long nv take tablet le later i cant swallow den it'll be super er xin. den it recovered after i took my lunch. lol. and now, it's coming back again. but i had my dinner le leh. dun tell me even my head is failing me?! dun like that leh, pls cooperate with me~ lol.
my weekends are taken up by wsc. tomolo hav to go set up booth for the charity funfair on sunday. oh ya, shun bian advertise for them.
CHARITY FUNFAIR
time: starts from 10am to 5pm.
place: bishan park, opposite spc
there would be lots of stalls and booths selling stuff coz we went there just now and thou it was super dark but we saw big tents and in the middle is a veri spacious grassland. and what's more, u'll be doing this on a charity cause coz part of the proceeds will go to charity org. and the most important thing is!! YOU WILL GET TO SEE ME! LOL. =X so come on sunday to support me!! as if anyone will respond to this and really come down. but just had to advertise for ourselves and for them as well ba. lol.
been trying to do my psycho report for like the 100000th time? no la, not so many times. but cant get into the mood to do it, i need a quiet place with the right mood to do the report. and til now, i still cant do it. think i'll go sleep in a while and try to do it tomolo instead.
you're the reason ;
1:05 AM
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
another song by Jay, the music is from secret de i think.
小学篱芭旁的蒲公英
是记忆里有味道的风景
午睡操场传来蝉的声音
多少年后也还是很好听
将愿望折纸飞机寄成信
因为我们等不到那流星
认真投决定命运的硬币
却不知道到底能去哪里
一起长大的约定
那样清晰打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今唯一坚持的任性
在走廊上罚站打手心
我们却注意窗边的蜻蜓
我去到哪里你都跟很紧
很多的梦在等待着进行
一起长大的约定
那样真心
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清
你是友情还是错过的爱情
you're the reason ;
6:37 PM
FINALLY. i left one more paper for mst which is ecm on fri. and i can study for it whole day tomolo coz it's deepavali hol! lol. pathetic, i'm happy coz i can study for tomolo instead of going out.. hai. it'll be over soon. i hope.
wanted to do my psycho report but just no mood to do it. think i'll do it tonight. give myself sometime to relax first coz i'm super tired. hai. so many things to do and even after mst, there's no time to relax sia, there's club stuff, reports and projects due.
hmm. dunno why but just dun feel right todae right from the moment i woke up and up til now. didn't laugh much todae. but i got eat chocolate todae leh, supposed to be happy de. =( i think i'm probably getting depression. been feeling not-so-happy these few days i dunno why! and i noe i'm in a state of repression, trying to push everything aside, in more layman terms, i'm actually running away from my problems. well, at least i'm not in denial, where i lie to myself that my problems actually dun exist. i think the greatest failure in someone is to lie to himself/herself. coz why u want to cheat urself when the truth's in front of you? can lie to others, but not urself. one of my principles in life. lol. =X.
gastric's been giving me trouble these few days. luckily the pain goes away quite fast. i noe i should go see doc but to those who have been asking me to see doc, thanks for ur concern but, it's veri scary de leh. i noe u all will say, "but scary still have to go ma. if not, u wan to wait til u really got disease meh." i understand. but i still find it scary if after the checkup, the doc sits me down, telling me that i've got this, this, this. what will happen, what will i have to do? i've got so many ppl i dun wan to lose. sounds like i got terminal illness like that. lol. but the feeling of loss is so.. empty. i nv thought how it would be like but it just jolted me some day ago that losing someone dear to you, the feeling would be so real and acute. and u'll feel sooooo empty after that.
also, i think it would be real scary to just lose everything in an instant after the doc told you things u dun wan to hear at all. i had a fren in sec4, she was diagnosed to have a tumour in her brain and had to undergo operation to remove it. it was onli one or two months before o levels and this had to happen to her. so she had no choice also but to stay one more yr back. and after her operation, she told us how she reacted after the doc told her abt it. she said she just went blank and asked the doc whether he was looking at the correct report. aww. this feeling, is just so.. i dunno how to describe. but she's still living well now and became more optimistic. and it's always thru this type of things that one becomes stronger ba.
it takes courage to undergo checkups and face the results. i'm not prepared for it just yet.
it also takes courage to love someone. i hope i'm prepared to face whatever's coming my way.
let it all out.
you're the reason ;
5:10 PM
Friday, November 02, 2007
it's thurs todae, or rather it's half an hour into fri already. time really pass so fast, flipped over my calendar todae, marking the beginning of a whole new month. it feels like OCT didn't even arrive at all. lol. and this feeling is scary. =S
doing my psycho report and it's about analysing my family de. lol. although there's no limit to this report, but it's 30% and while i'm doing the report, it just really hits me about how little i noe my family. and it's the first report i rewrote 3 freaking times coz i dunno how should i go about writing it. reminds me of the time when i was drawing my family genogram during psycho class and ppl were looking into each other's genogram. and ppl were appalled that my relationship wif my parents are not that rosy-looking. hmm. do i have a face which spells that i hav a great relationship with my parents? lol. but even though i wish to hav one, sadly saying, it's not so. =( since young, i've refrained talking to my frens about my not-so-good relationship with my parents, coz it makes me feel that it is even more true that i'm not that close with them. and from then on, i've promised myself that i would treat my children well in future and that they would not get the unfair treatment that i got from my parents. but so much being said, i noe that they still care.
hmm. moving on from this depressing topic, i think my eye circles getting worse. lol. and i think it's coz i've not been sleeping early these few days. but psycho report has to be handed in on week8 and i've not even finished half of it. =( someone, pls save me.
and i just heard from the news todae that taller ppl are more likely to get cancer. LOL. i was laughing at this piece of news. lol. so weixin! it's good that we're short, at least we have a lower chance of getting cancer. and also, we're not in danger of getting strucked by lightning when we go out on a stormy day. lol. so who says short is no good? it's sooooo much safer than being tall. lol.
it's close to 1am liao le. going to sleep le. if not, i'm going to become an endangered species in the world (panda) lol.
miss everyone!
you're the reason ;
12:26 AM
