Saturday, January 19, 2008
at 302 post, i end this blog.
unhappiness caused by this blog and ultimately, my mouth: lots and lots (1000%)
shutting it down seems the best way. and nope, i'm not gonna delete everything here, just burying it away. come to think of it, if i hadn't said what i did, perhaps, nothing would have happened. mayb i shouldn't have asked too much, to wan to noe everything? lol.
goodbye, to the beauty and ugliness of blogs, washing my hands off you, everything back in my diary.
you're the reason ;
9:19 AM
Thursday, January 17, 2008
spent my day revising mainly for blaw and fm. argh, first two papers for the exam. sometimes or rather everytime, i hate exams, who doesn't anyway? lol. what to do but to try and get over it. after the hardship, it'll be time for enjoyment.
during exams, perhaps, it's the best time to quietly sit down and think abt things that we tend to brush aside due to the rush of the daily sch routine. disappointed, baffled, hurt and really hurt from everything that has happened. i tried to get myself to respect ur decision, i tried to justify taht u did what u had to do in order to protect urself from the hurt. i tried, but, i still cant get it out of my head. all the times we've spent together, are they all wasted? all these 2 years, the laughter we had, the anger we had tgt. i dun wan to sound harsh, i'm not trying to sound angry coz i'm more hurt than anger.
how would u feel if u were in my shoes? everyone's shutting themsevles away from me, it's eating me up. perhaps, i've never been a good fren at all.. perhaps, i should stop asking. perhaps, i should just forget everything.
alright. finish of venting out, back to the world of study.
forget it, linghui.
you're the reason ;
10:20 PM
Monday, January 14, 2008
hmm. got my itp posting. lol. at some tuition centre at yishun. save on transport fees but tuition and marketing like dun go very hand in hand tgt hor. lol. but anw, posting's out, and though i will still nag abt being posted to a tuition centre at times, but then, i muz really learn to accept it. lol. there's no other choice, is there?
on a brighter note, completed my psycho counselling test todae and handed in blaw report todae. so, 2 CAs down! can concentrate more in revision for exams! i hope the two weeks can come and go away as fast as possible den it's a short period of hols! yay. lol. happy too early.
during my psycho counselling session, told them abt a problem that happened qutie recently, and the advice given was like quite standard. to go and ask them, etc. but that is, if there's someone kind willing to tell me what is going on. i dunno if keeping it from me is for my own good (yes, mayb from all of u de point of view) but for me, it just hurts. and during todae's psycho counselling, it helped me recognise that it all boils down to feeling hurt more than feeling angry or disapppointed. coz all of u are my frens, that's why i care, that's why i will wan to noe what is happening.
ms tan, on the other hand, could tell that i was really confused as to what i should do. lol. which is like sooo true. problems come and go, ppl tell me about it, others shut me away from it. and if u really choose to shut away and hide from me, there's nothing i can do. just like people playing "hide and seek", if u choose to go away and hide away from me, i cant find and help u foreverrrrrr.
alright. that's all i wanna say.
you're the reason ;
10:55 PM
Friday, January 11, 2008
hmm. haven been really busy these few days, with ecm ppt and blaw report and psycho report. and to top it all off, there's revision for the exams to be done as well! =S.
but i believe after the exams, all would be fine. so, cant give up! jia you everyone! 2 weeks and all torment would be over. lol. like trying to get myself to believe in it as well, which is veri hard la. lol. but, i will not give up coz it's such a waste to struggle thru the whole sem and give up at the last min near the exams.
alright. shall get back to blaw! die die muz finish at least one chapt tonight!! and i haven get itp result posting sia. sian.
you're the reason ;
11:48 PM
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
i just realised, i dun hav the right to talk abt that coz i'm not the party in it and i dun even noe a bit abt what's happening. i did talk, but then, i realised, i dun have this right to do so.
dun pull me into it. i dun wan to noe. dun wan to care. and yes, i admit i'm running away, coz the thought was too hurting, too shocking. i dun wan to blast everything out to you, so i ran away.
away and away i go...
you're the reason ;
12:27 AM
Monday, January 07, 2008
went for blaw discussion yesterday and we were so stressed up over the qns that we were talking rubbish (mostly not by me. lol.) and laughing so loud that i think the whole mac de ppl think that we are the most nosiy bunch there. lol.
conb presentation later! finally it's the final lap of the project. this project i did it sooo tiringly, and it's a test of my own EQ and IQ. hope everything can end with a beautiful FULL stop tml. pray that i can finish the slides in like 3min. lol. a bit impossible la. after conb, is ecm and blaw to focus on. think i'll be starting some of my revision this week. since projects are going to be due, it's perhaps time to start revising for the 6 freaking papers i going to have. >.<
eh. while typing, i have came to a conclusion that the word business is actually a word that spells out that it is a very busy subject to take. coz busi (busy)-ness ma, if u split the word up! lol. entertain myself here. lol.
sometimes, when u're in the midst of really breaking down, and someone tells you they will be by ur side, it's really heartwarming. mayb it doesn't mean a lot to another person or even to the person who said it, but it means everything to the person who hears it. coz that's what they are looking for, someone to really stand by them, to give them all the support they actually need. and just a simple sentence or word will do, it will make all the difference. so, thanks for telling me that in this very moment. =)
you're the reason ;
12:15 AM
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
before my bdae is officially over with the tick of minute hand past 12midnight, i wan to wish myself HAPPY BIRDAE!! lol. it's something i do every year ok. lol.
this year's bdae has been memorable and nice as well. with dear celebrating with me, every simple thing becomes special. lol. =) thanks to each and every one who has wished me "happy birdae". every greeting represents a present to me. lol. the most memorable gift i've received is from my stupid partner. lol. right from the start i saw it, i laughed non stop sia. lol.
and thanks to my dear friends who sang bdae songs for me and threw my face as well. lol. everything is appreciated!! it's been a fun day and each "happy birdae" greeting makes me feel warm coz ppl rmb my bdae at least! lol. and xiaoling from my tuition class in sec3&4 sent me a sms to wish me! lol. was totally taken by surprise.
this year, i shall enjoy, laugh, cry, go through pain. all in all, i will enjoy my 19th year to my best even in the midst of all busy work! lol. i will also learn to grow up and be less childish. instead, i will consider switching over to being young at heart. LOL.
that's all. got to do my pt for conb. on my bdae. lol. siannnn
you're the reason ;
11:02 PM
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
like these balloons, i'm going to let 2007 go and welcome 2008!!
before i go on to the new year, always a must to wish everyone HAPPY 2008!!! hope it will be a good year! if not, semi-good is also fine wif me. lol.
2007, lots of things happen and while there are bad, there are also good as well. and i choose to rmb the good so that i will be happier! lol. the best thing that i could rmb that happened is that: i met you. =) to me, it's really hard for two persons in this everyday world to meet and be frens, let alone be each other's dear. so, i'm really happy that 2007 was made nicer with ur presence around. =D.
resolutions are a tradition, so here are mine! not too many, just 3 will do. coz i scared cant fulfil. LOL.
1. treat dear better.
2. drop all masks that i put on in front of my frens.
3. enjoy each bits and pieces of life coz i only live once. lol.
that's all! enjoy the new year people! =)
you're the reason ;
12:28 AM
