Saturday, January 19, 2008
at 302 post, i end this blog.
unhappiness caused by this blog and ultimately, my mouth: lots and lots (1000%)
shutting it down seems the best way. and nope, i'm not gonna delete everything here, just burying it away. come to think of it, if i hadn't said what i did, perhaps, nothing would have happened. mayb i shouldn't have asked too much, to wan to noe everything? lol.
goodbye, to the beauty and ugliness of blogs, washing my hands off you, everything back in my diary.
you're the reason ;
9:19 AM
Thursday, January 17, 2008
spent my day revising mainly for blaw and fm. argh, first two papers for the exam. sometimes or rather everytime, i hate exams, who doesn't anyway? lol. what to do but to try and get over it. after the hardship, it'll be time for enjoyment.
during exams, perhaps, it's the best time to quietly sit down and think abt things that we tend to brush aside due to the rush of the daily sch routine. disappointed, baffled, hurt and really hurt from everything that has happened. i tried to get myself to respect ur decision, i tried to justify taht u did what u had to do in order to protect urself from the hurt. i tried, but, i still cant get it out of my head. all the times we've spent together, are they all wasted? all these 2 years, the laughter we had, the anger we had tgt. i dun wan to sound harsh, i'm not trying to sound angry coz i'm more hurt than anger.
how would u feel if u were in my shoes? everyone's shutting themsevles away from me, it's eating me up. perhaps, i've never been a good fren at all.. perhaps, i should stop asking. perhaps, i should just forget everything.
alright. finish of venting out, back to the world of study.
forget it, linghui.
you're the reason ;
10:20 PM
Monday, January 14, 2008
hmm. got my itp posting. lol. at some tuition centre at yishun. save on transport fees but tuition and marketing like dun go very hand in hand tgt hor. lol. but anw, posting's out, and though i will still nag abt being posted to a tuition centre at times, but then, i muz really learn to accept it. lol. there's no other choice, is there?
on a brighter note, completed my psycho counselling test todae and handed in blaw report todae. so, 2 CAs down! can concentrate more in revision for exams! i hope the two weeks can come and go away as fast as possible den it's a short period of hols! yay. lol. happy too early.
during my psycho counselling session, told them abt a problem that happened qutie recently, and the advice given was like quite standard. to go and ask them, etc. but that is, if there's someone kind willing to tell me what is going on. i dunno if keeping it from me is for my own good (yes, mayb from all of u de point of view) but for me, it just hurts. and during todae's psycho counselling, it helped me recognise that it all boils down to feeling hurt more than feeling angry or disapppointed. coz all of u are my frens, that's why i care, that's why i will wan to noe what is happening.
ms tan, on the other hand, could tell that i was really confused as to what i should do. lol. which is like sooo true. problems come and go, ppl tell me about it, others shut me away from it. and if u really choose to shut away and hide from me, there's nothing i can do. just like people playing "hide and seek", if u choose to go away and hide away from me, i cant find and help u foreverrrrrr.
alright. that's all i wanna say.
you're the reason ;
10:55 PM
Friday, January 11, 2008
hmm. haven been really busy these few days, with ecm ppt and blaw report and psycho report. and to top it all off, there's revision for the exams to be done as well! =S.
but i believe after the exams, all would be fine. so, cant give up! jia you everyone! 2 weeks and all torment would be over. lol. like trying to get myself to believe in it as well, which is veri hard la. lol. but, i will not give up coz it's such a waste to struggle thru the whole sem and give up at the last min near the exams.
alright. shall get back to blaw! die die muz finish at least one chapt tonight!! and i haven get itp result posting sia. sian.
you're the reason ;
11:48 PM
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
i just realised, i dun hav the right to talk abt that coz i'm not the party in it and i dun even noe a bit abt what's happening. i did talk, but then, i realised, i dun have this right to do so.
dun pull me into it. i dun wan to noe. dun wan to care. and yes, i admit i'm running away, coz the thought was too hurting, too shocking. i dun wan to blast everything out to you, so i ran away.
away and away i go...
you're the reason ;
12:27 AM
